Censoring my eulogy

In one of my facebook posts I commented that I am gone die at 25 or 27 like 2pac,sam cooke or amy whynehouse did even though they died at early age with great success while am gone die as early as I start my journey toward the destination of success.
It’s really scary for many to set their living bar as early as in their 20’s but for the kind of young man like me who is sometimes driven by frustration, agony and despair the early 20’s I set as a bar for living might be longer than I can handle.
Then let’s assume am gone die at 25 which is 2 years away from now on. The cause for my death most probably is going to be self generated or as you all refer it more suicidal than natural cause. From what I have observed the best options for someone who want to commit painless suicide might be cutting your wrist and let’s your blood flow on the floor as if some red snake crawling in a carpet, stinging yourself with a jelly fish which is harder to find it here unless you are diaspora, jump from any sky scrapper of Addis or tree scrapper of Mekelle.
What will be the motive behind my suicidal act well it might be being driven by the frustration of how change is becoming a slow progress in nation that lags behind any formed nation in the world, failing to be understood by family or breaking up with my dear love.
Unlike any dead people I don’t want anybody to write eulogy for me saying Abel was this and was that.Rahter I want to be the one to write my own eulogy stating clearly what kind of person I used to be in my living days. The possibility of my own eulogy being read at my funeral will be very minimum because there will be thousands of people who are not interested in hearing one of my lines stating “life ain’t worth it if we sell our soul for the dictator or if we restrain our mouth from speaking our own mind”. I am also sure that no one from my family will be courage’s enough to speak out the words of my eulogy. Rather they write something that represents me partially saying Abel was a funny, smart, and generous guy while editing the fact that I was courage’s enough to criticize dictators even at their birth place where they are liked next to Jesus. They edit and censor my eulogy to let the crowd at the funeral pour gallons of tears as if they are going to trade with God to my resurrection or free ticket to heaven with gallons of tears they collected. But I have one wish which I want to fulfill whether am alive or dead and that is making dictators uncomfortable with the echoes of my freedom preaching voice that rings in every halls of palaces, courts and prison that are treating humanity to its lowest point.


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